Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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