Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you win again, gameday.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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