I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
