I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I love you. Go after that dick
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