saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sorry my hands just texted you
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
