all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
