I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
