Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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