Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
