Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't deserve a penis
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize