i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The Olympian is in my bed
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