Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
