dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
40s are totally the cure
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I deserve this hangover.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
