Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
