DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
