Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
