I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
