There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
