Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
