Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we're making bets on your personal life
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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