You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
