As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Someone came in the potted fern
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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