I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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