It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
