Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
