New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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