Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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