I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
