No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
