I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
