Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
