why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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