Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
