The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize