he shaved USA in his pubs
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
not ubering you a puppy
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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