Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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