I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This house was built for laser tag.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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