Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
