I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize