Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
