he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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