I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
