he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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