Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Shame is for Republicans.
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