Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

seriously i just wanna be friends

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

pass

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(516): View more from New York

he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.

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(408): View more from California

You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

i just like, need to vent to someone

(919): View more from North Carolina

Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?

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(850): View more from Florida

You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.

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(301): View more from Maryland

SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.

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