is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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