my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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