DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
