new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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