Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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