dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
