Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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