My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
