My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
