the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
