laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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