I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
