Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
