just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dignity is for republicans.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize