you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
